Excitement and Patience in order to go deeper..

Lately my spirit has just been on fire. I'm just head over heels (never truly got the reasoning behind this saying..help?) in excitement. I just know in years to come SOMETHING IS COMING and I know i want to be in position to be apart of it. I've gotten so excited. I've begun to look at different opportunity and different things i could do to help me along the way. But i saw how my excitement could quickly cloud the path of God. I was looking up all these different youth functions and all these different ministry minded developmental opportunities. And i just went a little over the top (maybe). So i quickly (after 2days of a somewhat intense research, listening and watching to countless podcasts, having some prayer and other things I realized its great to be EXCITED, but I need to remember PATIENCE. Because my excitement could lead me to get a head of Gods plan of cultivation. If I become to busy trying to research and apply and go to everything tha COULD POSSIBLY help me, I could EASILY MISS the oppurtunities God is going to to putin my path.

I surfed through Bethany Prayer Center's website with a special focus on their 220 group, which is there youth group that goes up to the age 25. And I watched the speakers minister to the youth, I saw and felt the movement of God through these things and the my maind question was..."HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU EMPTY YOURSELF OUT TO BE USED LIKE THIS?" Im like God I want to be around people like that (not saying that I am not right now), and be an addition to the atomosphere I want to be like that in the spirit.

So For me its about doing this, so that I can be the best vessel possible when Im called to step up.

I really want to learn how to pour myself completely out, so that God may reign and get glory out of my life. I desire to be used, but I desire more than anything right now to use this time to fully emerse myself in God. I desire to get to a place of brokeness, a place where I am
completely poured out so that God can pour into me and i can pour Him out unto others.

It's a nerve wrecking thing to think about it...brokeness that is. Its spirit quaking to desire to be broken and poured out in order to do the will of God. However I don't see a life not attached to life changing ministry and I dont see my life attatched to life changing ministry with out my whole being , being totally depleted of self and completly concentrated on Him.

I want to do what it takes to here God tell me, some variation of these words..."You have given yourself to me in every aspect of your life, you have yeilded your mind, heart, mind, body and will to my plans and for that you will now go out into the earth and be a vessel, you will go out unto the earth and fulfill what it is i have for you. Because you clung to my words, and ran for Me and my spirt, you are in a position to receive all I have for you"

I want to do what it takes in life, be all that i can possibily be in Christ. I dont have words to explain the FIRE and burning that is goign on in my spirit. So im setting my sights on learning how to walk in these things that i have no seen but I know they are to come...

..and with all that being said I still feel as though the surface has not even been scratched.

I just Praise God, for being bigger than my itty bity mind could contain. I Thank God for have a course and plan for me and for changing the things that the enemy had made for evil, into good. Im going deeper...

Passion and Desire...

::Sigh::

It is truly heart wrenching for me to talk about this subject because my heart flows for the people I am speaking of because it used to be me in some ways. I could paint you an extremely graphic picture, but once we reached the end you would see how much of the picture seemed to mirror you. Because what I will speak about EACH of us can relate to it in some way shape or form. Including Me. However I have a deep passion and desire to be used in the lives of youth and young adults in a way to break cycles, and uncover past suppressed feelings in order to restore a better person by showing people there worth (as stated in the word) and somehow proving to them that, the past hasnt broken you, but its equipped you to triumph over what holds you back.

Each day I walk out into the world and stare women in the face. Women from broken homes, that led to broken hearts which lead to broken people. Women who have had life expierences or maybe even one experience that completely shaped and molded the way they looked at the world and that gave reason to why they do the things they do. I stare into the eyes of scared individuals and listen to the voices suppressed emotion, lost to confusion. Women who have learned to survive by sweeping there deepest and uttermost, pains, fears and experiences under a rug. Women who have swept, covered and walked away from things thinking that it would solve their problem. The irony of it all is that those things we have forgotten over the years are the things that hold us back from reaching potential. Its what holds us back from putting an end to cycles of men in lives, cycles of hurt, cycles of fear, cycles of pain, cycles of feeling lonely, cycles of cycles.

This is where my passion lies, and the more I see that, andthe more I am confident enough to finally state that I feel like...Im in the wrong major! lol Even though I initially was going to be a psych major I know that goin into Physical Therapy will supply me with ample time to build a family life and a life dedicated to ministry with out having a stressful , life consuming career. --But anyways...-


My passion lies in the family, friends and acquaintences that I have who are lost to a life leading them down a road of unhapiness or feigned happiness... God forbid an early death. It lies with the young girls I see who dont have the confidence adequate enough to feel strong and secure in themselves. To the girls and young women who get lost in cycles of boyfriends and miscontrued love, only to be broken and left to digress more. My heart goes out to those who throw up the tough exterior and no matter how hard they try to overcome it they cant because they are unable to face the past they try to forget. My heart goes out to these people because we all face these things. But my heart is for the young lady who doesnt understand that God is capable of restoring every piece of you, if you are willing to give up the things you hold onto in this world for comfort.

But thats the key. Many aren't willing to give up ourselves inorder to be restored, because of fear, because we have become comfortable, or just because

My desire is that my testimony can bring a sense of hope to others and that it can show that no matter how small or big something maybe God is in the midst. My prayer is that I can touch lives and lead people out of blindness through love and honest truth.

The bible says in 1Co 13:12 "For now we see in a mirror, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know fully even as also I was fully known"
1Co 13:13 "But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; and the greatest of these is love. "

I want to be emptied so that I may be used. I desire to give hope, I desire to help those grow in faith and I Desire to be an EXAMPLE OF GOD's Love, because I have experienced Him, I know Him and He knows me. Therefore I daily move towards seeing more clearly, the things that I once saw dimly.

Too many times people have told me that I am "one of the happiest people they have ever met" or that I never seem to be stressed. But 98% of the time they dont believe its obtainable for themselves. Some of it may be my personality but i can TESTIFY that the Majority is due to the peace of God that was due to the overcomig of my test and trials. A life of peace, favor, mercy and grace is HIGHLY OBTAINABLE. A perfect life,no, because it falls on the just as the unjust, but your life can be better , if you decide to walk better, talk better and be better, by being honest with yourself and willing to leave behind the things that have you bound.

I have a desire to see people break out of the clutter of this world and be opened up to a life lived in decency and order, according to the will of God....

That is my hearts desire, in a very tiny nutshell...

As the saying goes...

So last week I had an interview with Gull Lake Ministries. Its a youth camp for the whole family. Time wise it doesn't seem to fit into my schedule (i have a lot of classes i need to take) but I enjoyed having a WHOLE interview in which I talked ONLY ABOUT GOD... It was amazing (even tho i felt as though I babbled on a lot ). One of the interview questions was, "how many times a week do you read your bible?" and I asked Him does that include church. (seriously though). He kinda "um, and er'ed around for a second, but said it doesn't matter. So I told Him on my own 1-2 times a week (which is a good week honestly) but I would like to get that number up to 3-6 times a week.

So He challenged me. He said a saying my mother has said to me before. AS THE SAYING GOES "It takes 21 days to make or break a habit." ..The connection here is that there are 21 chapters in John...

So this was something He was doing along with some youth and young adults at his church. So i took tht challege I am on Day 6 and I feel like im going strong.

So i want to make the same challenge to you. I have shyed away from reading the bible sometimes because I dont understand and get frustrated. but not reading surely isnt going to grant me understanding. And there are other reason also that "come up", but all in all its an avoidance we as a people do. But its written in code and in parrables so that things can be revealled and so that things can be made simple. We just have to accept its no always going to be simple.

So im posting this to challenge you to start a habit and instead of goign to the next chapter after you finish go to reference text and look up your things. It has been good to go to sleep each night with the word on my mind. As I work on my personal consistency in my prayer life and in my reading. I hope to inspire you to grow with me!

Cant go to bed tonight with out...

SAYING HOW MUCH I LOVE WORSHIPING AND PRAISING GOD. Tonight was a campus praise rally. I enjoyed it because i enjoy the fellowship and the ability to take race out of the equation and worship regardless. I was jamming out to my Hillsong (i was geeked they sang Lead me to the cross) lol. BUT I WAS JUST CREATED TO WORSHIP AND I TRULY ENJOY IT. Thirty minutes before chior i just started gettin really HYPER and it was ridiculous, but it was like a build up in my spirit. Man I need to be sleep so i will elaborate later.

But I praise God jsut for the oppurtunity. I Thank GOd that i can openly and freely worship and serve Him because some cant.

They paved the road...

I was on the phone talking to my mother the other day and we were conversing for a moment before I went to finish studying for an exam. Its amazing how God works to bring things to a head. I have always been thankful to my parents because what they struggled with allows me to have an upper hand on struggle in my walk and this is what my mother spoke to me about quickly. She related her and my fathers walk in Christ to that of the Civil rights movement. She talked about how during the movement people fought and gave there lives and hearts and soul to get something better for themselves but especially there children. The battle they fought paved the way for the next generations. It didn't make the way completely smooth but it allowed the next generation to have more leverage. It allowed them to not have to fight AS MUCH, and not neccesarily as hard for the same thing, as the generation ahead of them had to. And just as these people have fought and battled my mother and father fought and battled to give me and my brother something more than what they had, naturally and spiritually. Alot of the natural and spiritual battles that they faced i will not have to face. Of course I will come across my fair share of battles but i have a resource to refer to. I have someone who has been there before. When I marry me and my husband will already have the word of God instilled in us and we wont have to worry about building a full relationship with God while building marraige and having kids because my parents made it possible for me to see the example ahead of time and show me that building my foundation first before marraige will ensure something better for my family and my children. We talked on how her ministry is just starting at the age of 47/48 but because I wont have to struggle with the things she had to and because I had a stronger example than her, and because I have made a choice to serve God earlier my ministry can start in my 20's and it doesnt have to be a 23 yr journey (as it was for her) because the road has been paved. So I thank those who have come before me and fought the battle. A battle that may have started off as an inididual one but it has grown into somethng that effects the generations. There were some before in my family who dedicated there lives to God in a very serious manner but their offspring did not follow. I see my parents as a beginning of a leniage of true Men and women of God because a firm foundation has been laid and the purpose and call will be fullfilled.

Psa 145:4 says.. One generation shall laud thy works to another, And shall declare thy mighty acts. This is how it works. One generation will show of his works to another, each generation will walk the same path to get to Christ but in a different manner, each trip a new generation takes should smooth the path a little more for the next. The things that occur now are road blocks for you but a mere pebble to the generation that follows. Start the pattern if your are the first genaration, continue the legacy if you come from a family of strong Godly foundation. But whatever you do smooth the path for the next generation by spreading the understanding, testimony, and power of God.

Blessings!,
With LOVE and humble service.
Alex :)

..2 Leave Behind A Legacy

Hello All!

This is my FIRST blog but i must warn you i LOVE TO WRITE, so these will probably be very lengthy most of the time. But I feel those who are meant to read it will read it. I hope you enjoy my blogs. I love sharing pieces of me with others, its jsut hard to do that in today's world because we ar eall on different levels and there is alot of shady and corrupt things out here now. :(


I have been thinking about whether or not I was going to make one of these for a long time and thanks to reading the blogs spots of a few friends (Anna, Erica and Reese) I was pushed to finally do it. I wanted my URL and my Headline to truly embody the direction of my life so some recent things that have happened within the past couple weeks have made me headline possible...

The URL is pretty self explainitory im living my life humbly in service to an All mighty God who has done so much for me. Im not a person into religion but relationship and I can say that no one can convince me that The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are not really because nothing can relate to the experiences I have seen and been a part of, the mircles i have seen, and just the overall upswing that occured in my life and mood once i gave it ALL up to Him. So i'm living my life humbly in His Service. Praying that i empty my self out enough for him to use me to do his will, spread his word and his love and just find myself through Him.

My headline stems from two recent funerals i went to. Two close friends of mine each lost a parent within the past 2 months. The first was my friend Kim's father. He was to this day the strongest man of God i have ever seen and experienced. His spiritual Gifts were 2nd to none (except God of course), but this man gave his whole life to God and it was later on in his life, he was like in his high 30's or 40's i believe. But GOd changed his life a whole 180. But the legacy he left behind was strong. One week ago I went to my friend Keesha's mothers' funeral. And they spoke of her legacy,her strength her ability to be real and give the word of GOd and give instruction that was tough but respected. I cried at that funeral like it was no tomorrow. God trully ministered to me that day.

I had bee praying to God telling Him that i am trully grateful for what He has done but i feel as thought i still dont grasp how good you are to me. I told him I need Him to keep showing me the DEPTH of His love for me and give me understanding to fathom why He has shown me favor as He has and why and how the gifts and talents he is showing me are too be used.

Then my mother just gave her first sermon and it was called "The call to become a virtuous woman" (It was great. God showed up and showed out..AMAZING) but she spoke on legacy also. So.. it piece by piece came together..

I trully am living this life to leave behind a legacy. One of strength, hope , passion , desire and more. I want to help people, i want to be able to change lives and be bold enough to speak the word of God at all times. To do it out of love and responsibilty to my service to God. I want to be apart of something great and as i watch God unfodl the lives of my immediate family members i know i will be as long as I continue on my correct path.

My question to you is..
What do you to spread God and His love?
What do you that is going to leave behing a Legacy that will motivate and catalyze people into something greater..?

:) Be Blessed !